Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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