Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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