We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
