i just wanna soil my oats bro
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
