idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Everything about him screamed your future.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
