yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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