He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize