My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
