not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
