Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
