a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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