I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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