I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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