and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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