Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize