I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
