Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
