Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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