idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
