turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
