I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize