We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
