Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
