He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize