Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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