im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
