Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
