i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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