Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
