i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
