Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Who died my cat blue again?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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