i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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