Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
