Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
