remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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