that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is it because I queefed?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
