is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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