How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
