dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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