worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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