I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
