Can Purell be used as lube?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
