sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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