think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
