Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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