doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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