you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
