I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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