hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
