sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
