My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize