its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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