You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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