K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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