Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize