I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
