guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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