he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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