A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
