My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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