My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
