at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
