i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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