literally had 100 drinks last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize