smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
