whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize