I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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