Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
