Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
