The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
