I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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