Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
