Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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